


Blitzpoint Crisis

by Hiver_Frost_Elf



Series: STAR Blazers [9]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anxiety, Central City Shoelace Museum/Raccoon Sanctuary, Cooking, Cosplay, Crossover, Deutsch | German, Dialogue Heavy, Dimension Travel, Family Drama, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Overprotective, Parenthood, Plush Menagerie, Robbie the Therapy Plushie, Robbie the Therapy Plushie Needs Another Raise, STAR Labs, Series Finale, Speed Force, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, Time Travel, Torture, Wayne Manor, Weddings, When All Hell Breaks Loose Rifle, cooler-than-a-Tomodachi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:04:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9299291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiver_Frost_Elf/pseuds/Hiver_Frost_Elf
Summary: CCPD helplessly watched Blitz thunder up the tallest building in Central.  Linda Park of CCPN barely contained her tears through this broadcast.  Rob burst through the station and clutched his fiancé, “David! Why’s our best man on a skyscraper!?”All officers felt like turning away or blinking would seal Blitz’s fate, hence why David couldn’t pull his eyes away from the screen, “....He’s going to commit suicide.”





	1. Plot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyperfectsummer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/gifts).



> Newcomers, welcome! Honestly, it'd be kinda cool if someone was brave enough to read this fic first and comment so I can compare how said person (or people) react to it compared to folks who've been following the series from the beginning, but I recommend reading chapter one of all subsequent parts before reading this one. You can read Knitwit for extra credit, but strictly speaking, you shouldn't need to.
> 
> Oldcomers, welcome back! Tensions are high for me, the characters, and will be high for y'all too if I did this finale justice. Let me know what you think, bitte und danke :)
> 
> This fic is gifted/dedicated to formerlyknownasyay because I promised I'd let her know when I posted Rob & Singh's wedding. Plus, she's awesome! Everyone should gift a fic to Yay-senpai.
> 
> Inspirations include Les Mis, show!canon, and the rest of the series (especially A Harry Situation). I own absolutely nothing and receive no revenue from this fic.

_Past_

A pale, grayish brunet woke up chilly in a metallic room with a tri-dimpled boy staring down at him.  The stranger gasped, grinned, and shouted into a hallway, “Mutti! Vati’s awake!!!”

How long was Henry in a coma???

“About nine months,” Nora said nonchalantly as they tromped through STAR Labs’ sunlit hallways hand in hand with Axel who was humming a [softspoken Rachel Platten tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvI9PuGorwI). “By the way, you’re a speedster now.”

Henry spoke as eloquently as ever, “???”

A voice from within greeted him sternly, “ **Good afternoon, Doctor Allen.  I’m Red Lightning.  You were not my first, second, or third choice for a new host, but I suppose you’ll do since you’ve sworn to do no harm.** ”

“....Who were your first choices?” Henry asked for lack of anything else to say.

“ **Everyone except you,** ” Red wasted no pleasantries.

“You turned down superpowers?”

Nora shook her head and smiled at her husband, “My superpower is unconditional love.”

“Ew, kissing!” Axel balked at Nora pecking Henry.

“I’m glad you’re awake, my treasure, I missed you,” Nora gazed up at Henry. “Arella, Harrison, Harry, and Shawna have been doing their best, but it’d be nice to have a certified physician on staff—even if your patients need more personalized care than most.”

“Iris!” Henry suddenly remembered. “Is she in a coma, too!?”

“Only for a week.  The only speedster who was in a coma for longer than you was Solnishko, and well, there were some rather extenuating circumstances in his case.  What matters is we’re all alive, healthy, and together.”

Henry agreed before abruptly halting, “What do you mean ‘on staff’?  I appreciate the offer—whoever’s offering—but I love Central Medical.”

“Yes, you do,” Nora exhaled her disapproval like a dragon snorts smoke through its nostrils.

Red would’ve rolled its eyes if it had any, “ **You have a hyperactive heartbeat and run a temperature of 100 degrees Fahrenheit.  Your colleagues will spot both as soon as you clock in.** ”

“Nobody would argue that healing people isn’t important, but first of all, you need to take it easy; and second of all, you skipped out on family activities for months before your coma.  You’re not accepting any job offers until you start actively participating in our ‘ohana.”

Henry would’ve requested a definition for ‘ohana if a bomb of socks leaking smelly smog hadn’t hurtled in slow motion.  Henry moved motionless Axel and Nora out of its path.  It splattered against the subtly curving walls at normal speed.

Nora folded her arms at a quartet of boys who screeched to a halt.  Beast Boy stopped first, bumped by the Mardon brothers, and then all three were squished by Cyborg.  Nora frowned them into submission, “STAR Labs has no less than a dozen empty rooms for you to play in; there’s no excuse for you to be playing in the hall where people are walking.”

Cyborg recovered their ball.  Beast Boy transformed into a beagle and tucked his tail between his legs.  The flesh part of Cyborg’s face blushed while Beast Boy blushed lime green throughout their apology, “Sorry, Mom.”

Nora then addressed the Mardons, “You two need to wash up for lunch.  If this happens again—I don’t whose suggestion it is or who threw the ball first—your fathers will hear about it.”

Mark and Clyde beat it to a bathroom fast enough that Henry assumed they possessed super speed as well, “Nora, how many children did you adopt while I was unconscious?”

“Just our Little Dolphin,” Nora clasped the boy’s hand once more. “Charlie doesn’t count; we would’ve adopted her anyway.”

“Love you too, Mom,” a wintery blonde lady wearing leather and vibrant blue lipstick groaned jokingly before she tripped.  She caught herself just in time, “This sucks.”

“At least you’re catching yourselves now,” Nora encouraged them to think positive as she helped Hail Mary up.  Their codename was Cisco’s idea.

_“Think about it: the only people in our ‘ohana who are even remotely religious are Opa and Shawna.  Opa only became a Rabbi so he could go to college, and Shawna’s more spiritual than anything,” Cisco proposed his brilliance with a flurry of arm flaps and some nifty charts. “Everybody’s gonna be looking for a Catholic woman named Mary; they’ll never suspect two atheists named Caitlin and Charlie!”_

Mick followed not too far behind and clasped Hail Mary’s hands to revert them back to the brunette Snow twins.  Control over their combo hero split 50-50 because they were both equally fit.  Right-handed Caitlin controlled the right half while left-handed Charlie controlled the left half.  The twins needed to clasp both hands to combine and clasp both of Mick’s hands to separate.  They—along with Martin and Ronnie—controlled formidable powers alone, but their strength intensified when they worked together.

Len wrinkled his nose with disdain when he entered the scene, “Who’s been playing Stankball in the hall?”

“BB, Cy, and your sons,” Nora saw no point in harboring fugitives.

Len cooled the hallway with his irritation and pinched the bridge of his nose, “FIRESTORM, get a move on, I have three minutes and twenty-nine seconds to lecture our court jesters before lunch.”

“{Coming, Len,}” with everybody else, Martin was overly formal, yet he wasn’t for Len because Len’s full name reminded folks too much of Lewis.  He also couldn’t be formal with Harry cuz that would be confusing as hell.  By then, he’d made so many concessions that he was using everyone’s nicknames now.

FIRESTORM was a combo hero who separated by clasping Len’s hands.  Martin controlled FIRESTORM—which took Ronnie’s body: muteness, dumpster diving fashion sense, and all—because these gentlemen were fit in different ways: Martin mentally and Ronnie physically.

Ronnie stretched out like a duck until Eddie wreathed an arm over his shoulder, “What’s next on your list, bro?”

Ronnie consulted his notebook and exclaimed, “{Leeches!}”

“We’ll start right away after lunch,” Eddie grinned.  He loved how giddy Ronnie became whenever he proved himself right, so Eddie refrained from outright telling him TESS Earth conspiracy theories were common knowledge on STAR Earth unless Ronnie specifically interrogated Eddie. “Joe might actually let me sit next to Iris today—without glaring at me this time!”

The duo scampered off while Caitlin, Charlie, and Martin twins joined Nora, Axel, and Henry.  Charlie wasted no time telling Henry, “Newton! It’s about time you woke up!”

“Seriously, Uncle Henry,” Wally appeared out of nowhere in a flash of Orange Lightning and punch-tapped Henry’s shoulder, “Dad warned me you liked sleeping in, but nine months? Sheesh!”

Once again, Henry was lost, so Martin enlightened him, “Charlie and Wally—along with Harry, Jesse, and Ronnie—come from TESS Earth.  The main difference between their Earth and ours is we call this facility STAR Labs,” Martin directed Henry’s attention to Wally’s TESS Labs hoodie, which the youngster handsomely modeled, “meanwhile, it’s called TESS Labs on their Earth.”

“Aren’t your parents worried about you at all???” Henry asked Charlie and Wally.

“My parents and sister are dead,” Wally grinned bluntly, “so I found new ones!”

Charlie added equally bluntly, “I might as well have lived alone after my father died.”

They met Cisco in a laboratory with a door adorned with tubular, neon letters flashing gleefully.

VIBE IN PROGRESS

KNOCK FIRST POR FAVOR

Nora did as the door requested.  Axel followed up her soft approach with a barrage of bangs.  Cisco let them in.  He was currently hooked up to Vibe so he could exchange notes on powers and tech with his counterpart from what had been affectionately dubbed Yarn Earth.  Their STAR Labs was perpetually caked in Barry’s knitting supplies.

“Ready for lunch, Häschen?” Nora asked after greeting Yarn Cisco.  STAR Cisco hopped out of his seat and saluted his counterpart goodbye upon hearing the L-word.

“We can teleport you there directly if you’d like,” Raven offered when the group encountered her and Arella.

“Bitte und danke!”

The group stepped through a lightless disc after Henry got over his nerves, “Superpowers, doppelgängers, magic—what’s next—aliens!?”

“Glorious!” Starfire flitted into a hug—more accurately, a squeeze, “You have awakened at last!  I regret that I have run out of ingredients for [stewed Grudthmec](http://www.geocities.ws/phoenixflamz0787/starvocab/index.html), yet when I next shop for the groceries, I shall rustle the grubs for you and your family at once!”

“Wonderful!” Nora ground through a social smile while everyone else swallowed vomit.  Cisco would eat it if there was nothing else within reach, but he wouldn’t choose Tamaranean cuisine over… anything less than poison.

Axel pulled Henry down and whispered, “Mutti’s just saying that cuz she’s polite.  Starfire’s food has real grubs; don’t ever ever ever eat it.”

“I shall keep you all from your feast no longer,” Starfire curtsied.

Everyone groaned at Henry’s faux pas, “It was nice to meet you, Miss Martian.”

“That is the racist!!!” Starfire’s eyes glowed nuclear green as she fisted her hands beside her.  Her glow dissipated when she giggled, “It appears it is as difficult for you to spot the jokes as it is for Solnishko.  Enjoy your afternoon, friends!”

Crayon scribbles by Axel and Flash and colored pencil sketches by Solnishko embellished the walls.  The kitchen was stocked with no less than five coffee makers and a cabinet stuffed with microwavable popcorn.  A loofah version of a witch’s familiar named Miss Kitka sought out all of the folks who surrendered to her wiles as soon as Mick and Joe began carving gravy-plastered poultry wafting meaty deliciousness throughout the room.

Iris, Joe, Clarissa, Hartley, Lisa, Len, Mick, Eddie, Ronnie, Mark, and Clyde set everything out by the time Henry’s posse showed up.  Joe did indeed allow Eddie to sit next to Iris—although no small amount of glaring ensued.  Joe pocketed his black, Barry-knitted cap that cupped his head while he shook his brother’s hand, “Weirded out yet, sleeping handsome???”

Henry nervously nodded before Clarissa hugged him, “Welcome back to the land of the living, son.”

Solnishko scampered into what was once the break room and apologized for his tardiness with an Asian-style bow.  He handed out dogs the dog people, cats to Hartley and Miss Kitka, wolves to Len and Mick and Lisa, foxes to the Mardons, snowy owls to the Snow twins, a bunny for Cisco, a duck for Ronnie, a dolphin for Axel, a hyena for Iris, and a hamster for Henry.  The scruffy physician blinked at these unusual presents.  Solnishko’s original idea was flowers, but then he remembered Cisco and the Mardons’ inability to keep anything floral alive and Clarissa’s pollen allergy, so Jesse helped him craft a zoo.

“These are adorable!” Clarissa cooed. “Thank you, Sternchen, and tell Jesse ‘thank you’ for us.”

“I will!” Solnishko promised as he buttered his roll. “Schwesterchen can’t be here because she’s Vati’s backup for the press conference—Dad’s supposed to be his backup, but we just checked the livestream, and he’s been daydreaming this entire time.”

The group—minus Henry—chuckled.  Harry clocked out as soon as boredom struck.  Mick wrapped his left hand around Len’s waist as Hartley clasped Solnishko’s free hand and tackled Henry’s befuddlement head-on, “You are aware of the fact that just because you and Mrs. Allen are a heterosexual couple doesn’t mean all couples are?”

“I am!” Henry didn’t care whom his patients loved as long as they recovered.  He was just a little weirded out by Solnishko’s vaguely familiar nickname.  His neighbors ended up being Solnishko and Nora, so he tried to break the ice with the raccoon beanie-wearing former, “So… Solnishko, thwart any villainy lately???”

“Hell, no!” Frost covered Caitlin’s fork as she stabbed it into her turkey. “Last time he helped out—which we only let him do because it was an emergency—he phased through an oil tanker; the bombs he was carrying exploded on his way out and knocked him unconscious for hours!  Then Iris, Jesse, and Wally collapsed after bringing him back here because they’d been running around for too goddamn long trying to phase before Solnishko caught up to them.”

Solnishko shrunk.  Miss Kitka hopped into his lap and rubbed against his chest.  Iris and Wally—and Jesse—still felt guilty about how their phasing technique was far from on par with Solnishko’s.

“....My SAT scores came in yesterday!” Solnishko eventually cheered while Miss Kitka stole a strip of turkey off his plate as her therapy fee. “I got a 700 in math and reading, but I only got a 500 in writing.”

Force chokes, facepalms, and censored insults bloated the room when Henry said, “Real grounds to disown you.”

Cobalt electricity trailed behind Solnishko as he fled.  Hartley’s green gaze needled Henry’s dumbass brown eyes, “Do you have any idea who I am???”

Mortification dawned on him at last, “You’re Doctor Hartley Rathaway.”

“That’s right. I’m Doctor Hartley literally disowned Rathaway,” Hartley vibrated with rage, “and you just told my Lilo you’d disown him over a damn SAT score!!!”

Len held Hartley back.  Hartley was built like a gecko yet crunched like a crocodile.  Len knew for a fact that Mick wasn’t a happy camper either, but at least he got a text from Jesse telling him Solnishko had crashed the press conference.

“Murrrderrrrrrrrr!!!” howled Weather Warlock while he and Weather Wizard prepared to blast Henry with twin thunderbolts.

Eddie and Ronnie held them back while Joe handed Robbie to the Mardons, “You know what you’re supposed to do instead of picking fights; now go do it.” They stubbornly delayed until Len quirked an eyebrow at them.  Mark and Clyde scowled and hissed, respectively, at Henry as they departed for the lab next door. “Now before anybody says anything else, I’m the younger brother of a straight-A, never-does-anything-wrong doctor, so please let me savor this moment.  Heaven knows I’ll never get another one,” Joe held up his hands to pause the group before addressing his brother after a pause. “Henry Jay Allen… yoooooooou donnne gooooooooofed!”

“Only a speedster needs less than an hour to be a complete disaster!” their father-daughter bond was the only thing keeping Caitlin from freezing this entire room.  In fact, she left it to rant at Robbie herself.

Axel snatched Henry’s hamster away, punched him, and darted off in a huff.  Charlie, Cisco, Hartley, and Lisa followed after him.  All jaws clicked shut when Henry epically failed to recover, “I just don’t understand why he took it so personally; it’s not like I’m his father.”

Nora frowned tightly at him, “....He took it personally because one of his fathers took the SATs three times and the highest he scored in any one category was 350.”

“How does that even happen!?!”

“That’s what Tess said! Mostly because she helped me study, and she taught me better than that,” Cameras kept rolling even as this press conference turned into a family affair.  Harrison scooched his glasses back up, smiled, and shrugged at his son, “I don’t know what it is about writing information down on a piece of paper that makes my brain fly out the window, but nobody in this room would argue that I’m stupid; and if they knew anything about you, they wouldn’t argue you’re stupid either.  There is absolutely no reason for you to retake the SATs, but if that’s want you to do, I’ll help you study—for all the good you think it’ll do.”

“We don’t even have SATs on TESS Earth,” Jesse informed her frantic-eyed brother. “There are more kinds of intelligence than there are colors in a rainbow, and no exam can measure them all.”

Harrison and Harry were going twinsies with ribbed black sweaters and pea coats.  Harrison was properly buttoned and groomed while Harry was what he claimed was stylishly unkempt.  Jesse was wearing furry-on-the-inside coat and boots and a locket with a photo of her mom in one half of the heart and a photo of the foursome around the Chickens Crossing sign in the other half.

“Are we done yet?” Harry snorted mid-snore, “I wanna eat food.”

“We have half an hour left, and you abandoned me during the first half, so you have the honor of taking over,” Harrison wheeled halfway away from the podium when Harrison began whining.

“You know I suffer from I Don’t Give a Damn Syndrome!”

“Which is why you’ll walk out at exactly 1:30—midsentence if you must—no matter what I say because you’ll ‘forget’ what I said and do so anyway, so we might as well pretend it’s part of the plan.”

Jesse facepalmed at her fathers’ negotiations. “May I answer sarcastically?”

“Once per ten questions.”

“Three!”

“Five.”

“Deal!” Harry scampered up to the mic and smiled at blinking cameras, “Good afternoon all you lovely losers!  Harrison’s ditching you because all of you combined and multiplied by infinity aren’t a fraction as important as our ‘ohana is—but no worries, I am amazingly awesome at assuaging stupidity AND I survived no less than seven interrogations back in the War of the Americas, so ask away!”

“Are you sure it’s okay to leave Dad in charge?” Solnishko wondered out loud as he looked back at Harry over his shoulder. “He’s got eleven PhDs, but none of ‘em are in anything remotely related to PR.”

“I’m public, and I relate to myself just fine; all I gotta do is imagine them as me, and I’ll be all set!” Harry grinned like a lunatic.  This grin only birthed Trigon’s henchmen.  Jesse stole the mic.  Even Green Lightning knew Harry would incite World War III in a matter of seconds if he remained onstage.  Jesse booted Harry out of the building so she could salvage some sense of decorum in peace.  Harry predictably pouted until he reunited with Harrison and their son.  Harry exploded at Henry’s antics, “I want to punch him!”

“Not before I do, you won’t,” Harrison huffed at him.

“Don’t let the wheelchair stop you.  Being down there makes it easier for you to hit ‘im where it really hurts!”

“Give him some grace,” Harrison advised him. “Think about it from his perspective.  Doctor Allen has awoken to a new daughter, son, and nephew—technically three since he hasn’t met the Mardon brothers, and you know how rambunctious they are—superhuman abilities, multiple universes—”

“That’s no excuse to treat our precious babies like crap!” Harry hissed.  He already despised TESS Earth’s version of Henry.  He was bursting at the seams to hate another one.

“Dad, it’s fine; I just overreacted like usu—”

“No it isn’t and no you didn’t!” Harry locked gazes and cupped Solnishko’s face.  Maybe he was seeing him as the feisty four-year-old TESS Earth’s Henry abandoned instead of Solnishko—he didn’t care. “I have the worst case of ADD imaginable; I only see four stars in the vast night sky, and one of them has died.  Your light has spent too long dim already!  Nobody has any right to douse your light or anybody else’s light.”

“....Technically, my name means ‘sunshine’.”

Harry scoffed before he released him, “The sun’s just the star closest to us.  I don’t want you setting ever—especially not because Doc Asshole has worse bedside manner than the Doctor.”

“ _Voyager_ or _Doctor Who_?” Solnishko snickered.

“Yes.”

They walked and wheeled over to Central City Shoelace Museum/Raccoon Sanctuary to check in with Batman and Selina and their first litter: refugees from a Procyon equivalent of a puppy mill.  They were all runts by zookeeping standards, but their mama wasn’t strong enough to care for the runtiest runt, so Batman bottle-fed it.  It fit within one hand.  There was a top hat floating around STAR Labs taking suggestions for names.

Raven enchanted it herself.

The humans and beasts played a few rounds of peek-a-boo before Batman and Selina abruptly armed themselves with as many batarangs and catarangs, respectively, would fit between their fingers and flung them at the door.  Solnishko sped the raccoons into a cushioned carrier, set said carrier in Harrison’s lap, and guided his fathers through the emergency exit.  The dynamic duo held off Gilded Glider: Clay Parker in a gaudier version of his Greaser dreamboat wannabe outfit.  He called himself Golden Glider’s rival every chance he got since they developed the same powers—aurum production—yet Lisa kicked his ass each time without a second glance.  Batman shielded Selina with his everything-proof cape.  Parker clipped an ear atop Batman’s cowl.

IT WAS ON!!!

Harry was amidst powering up his When All Hell Breaks Loose rifle when two behemoths quaked the earth upon landing in front of the trio.  One was a telepathic gorilla called Grodd and the other was a scarred shark called King.  Grodd’s telepathy hit Harrison and Harry’s snooze buttons while King lunged at Solnishko.

Their prey fled into an alleyway haunted by a steel gargoyle.  Girder—Tony Woodward in his previous life—smirked when Solnishko rammed into him.  Solnishko screamed when Captain Cold flash froze him.  Captain Cold tossed his ice sculpture into the back of a van.  Gilded Glider escaped thanks to Grodd and King distracting the dynamic duo and their buddies who’d teleported or ran into the scene.  Batman’s jubilee at his batshark repellent coming in handy like he always knew it would ceased when everyone realized nobody knew where Solnishko was.

Even the Lightnings were cut off from him.  Blue Lightning heaved and collapsed into the Speed Force.  To mortal eyes, the Speed Force would appear to be a park with a pond in the center and cottages blurred by distance.

Yellow was flailing and panicking harder than it did when der Mann in Gelb invaded this timeline.  Green and Orange were doing their best to calm it.  Red arrived when Blue finally located Solnishko with their mirror into the mortal realms.  Red caught Yellow, “ **There’s only one person who’ll reach him in time.** ”

“ **NO!!!** ” Yellow screeched and brushed Red aside. “ **HE’S JUST GONNA HURT HIM AGAIN!!!** ”

“ **It’ll take weeks for even Jesse to acclimate to all of us.  His experiments mean the process will take mere minutes, and Solnishko barely has that long,** ” Red reached out to Yellow once more.  Blue, Green, and Orange prepared their path.  A storm howled over their destination: a gated university on the outskirts of Central City. “ **Der Mann in Gelb won’t ever exist in this timeline because our ‘ohana will tear him apart if he does.** ”

Solnishko’s thawing ears picked up James Jesse vaulting into the ring with a mic, “Gentlemen and whatever the hell Girder is! Metas of all ages!! You demanded it, so our glorious glacier brought it: Blitz on a platter!!!” Girder crashed into the ring first and pounded the ice, beaming when he heard bones cracking along with them. “Pro tip: it’s not funny to break funny bones—except to us!” Gilded Glider gold-cuffed Solnishko to the floor when he began vibrating out of Girder’s grip.

Captain Cold shooed the amateurs away.  He straddled Solnishko’s chest and wrenched his face forward, “You’re not the only one with powers now, Lightning Freak.” Captain Cold trailed his fingers along Solnishko’s pulse points as if he was playing a piano.  This was no brutal barrage, yet Solnishko’s agony was louder than ever: music to its maestro’s ears.

“And for the finale: imported from the future, a royal dynamo with a PhD in pain: Der! Mann! In! Lilaaaaaaaa!!!” James smirked when a man in muted violet Nextel arrived.  His eyes glowed like rainbow marbles.  Purple Lightning trailed even his slowest movements.  Solnishko shied away from the stranger with the last of his strength.  Everybody else held their breath at this stranger plodding towards Solnishko, crouching low… and spiriting him away???  James incinerated his power-suppressing cuffs and winked at Captain Cold as he fought off the rest of his alleged teammates, “I warned ya, Snarty, I’m a trickster!” His feral grin became a vengeful frown, “And you orphaned my son....”

Der Mann in Lila didn’t stop until he set Solnishko down on a cot in STAR Labs as gently as possible.  The Lightnings returned to their hosts… except Red, who disgustedly returned to the Speed Force.  Caitlin sobbed upon entry.  Snow dotted her footsteps.  She clutched Solnishko as soon as Blue Lightning stitched him back together.  Solnishko’s eyes opened, and Blue assured her he was indeed alive, yet Solnishko wasn’t waking up.

Beast Boy transformed into a raccoon and rubbed his cheek against Solnishko.  His tail drooped, “Am I helping at all???”

“I…” Arella was at loss for words.  Neither she nor her daughter could even enter his soulscape. “I am unsure....”

Caitlin miraculously survived singing her song to Solnishko before Mick charged in and sang his.  Solnishko remained blank amidst Henry’s inspection.  Henry attributed this boy surviving such an onslaught and this much blood loss entirely to his powers, yet Harrison had a different hypothesis, “....He’s endured worse.”

Nobody could do anything for him.  That’s what tortured Henry the most: someone he couldn’t help.

AB+ blood.

Nineteen.

Birthday: June 20th.

“Barry???” Henry’s jaw unhinged as he looked down on Solnishko and cradled him.  Henry’s breath raced his heartbeat.

Solnishko flitted his gaze up at Henry and shivered, “My name’s not Barry; my name’s Solnishko.”

“....What are you talking about? Of course it is,” Henry bit his lip. “It’s the name I gave you.”

_Present_

The tallest skyscraper in Central swayed under two speedsters.  Der Mann in Lila grabbed Blitz’s arm.  Blitz phased out of Der Mann in Lila’s grip and pivoted, “ **I can’t fight crime like everybody else because I panic at every little thing!  I can’t even sleep without my stars and plushies and blankets or my stupid brain will think it’s back in the cabin!!  Why are you wasting your time!?  This is how I’m supposed to die!  I fall and nobody saves me because I’m no hero, I’m just Cosette—the worst Cosette ever because I’ll never stop needing an army of Valjeans just to understand if somebody’s kidding!!!** ”

“ **That’s not true, Solnishko....  Der Mann in Gelb showed you falling, but he didn’t show you your ‘ohana teaming up to save you.  So what if you don’t fight crime?  Fighting crime doesn’t make you a hero, helping people does.  You’re a hero—my hero!—because you unite innumerable souls and accept every last one of them unconditionally,** ” der Mann in Lila stepped back when stepping forward merely inspired Blitz to inch closer to the edge.  With tears flooding his cowl, der Mann in Lila continued pleading for Blitz to rethink his scheme. “ **My name is Eobard Thawne, but I’d prefer if my friends called me Eo… if I had any friends.  When I was a child, my mother called me overemotional.  My father called me ingenuous.  So I became a professor to encourage my students the way I never was by my family.  Then one day, all five Lightnings struck me so I could save you.  I pray I am as far removed from my counterpart as possible, because he gave in to what his family told him and wasted his gift hurting you.  I would be honored to be allowed into your ‘ohana, but I’ll understand if his sins are too grievous to forgive.** ”

Blitz whimpered and sniffled.  He moved neither towards nor away from the time-traveler.  Eo hesitantly opened his arms.  Blitz zoomed into them, bawled, and squeezed Eo’s hand four times.

Eo spent his childhood idolizing Blitz and his teenhood heartbroken when he discovered the Blitz Memorial, so when the Lightnings offered him a chance to render its construction unnecessary, he jumped on it because Solnishko had everything Eo didn’t: an ‘ohana.  The Lightnings warned him that he wouldn’t be changing the timeline, he’d be creating a new one—another prong on a fork.  He’d never be able to return to his time.  So be it.  He had no one to return to anyway.

“ _Les Mis_ is rather obscure when I’m from, so I’ve only seen the Broadway version—once, at my parents’ insistence,” Eo hugged Solnishko, thanking every deity he could name that his kidnapper’s voice didn’t spook him. “I wish I’d paid better attention, but with any luck, whatever my brain cobbles together will apply to you.”

_[Do you hear the people sing?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8UIDaeXPu0) _

_[Singing the song of jubilee?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8UIDaeXPu0) _

_[It is the music of the people who have found a family.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8UIDaeXPu0) _

_[Every cold and lonely night glows when the sun and stars arrive.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8UIDaeXPu0) _

_[Souls will defrost with love and light when ‘ohana comes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8UIDaeXPu0) _

The sun rose while Eo carried Solnishko home to safehouse #4.  The Lightnings returned to their hosts while Red returned to the Speed Force.  Eo watched Solnishko duck his head low and shakily ring the doorbell.  Harry opened the door so fast, he must’ve been sitting beside it this entire time.

To recap, not only had they been relying on a near-stranger—who in related news was from a timeline where Solnishko DIED and was Solnishko and Harrison and Selina’s captor’s and STAR Tess’s murderer’s counterpart—to rescue Solnishko TWICE, Solnishko hadn’t even the wherewithal to deactivate his comms.  His entire ‘ohana heard everything.

Harry’s desire to punch Henry escalated exponentially.  Nothing beyond catastrophe spilled from those lips!  They reviewed the footage just before Solnishko dashed out of the medical wing, and Henry’s words to him sounded too much like Lewis to Len and Lisa, never mind someone who’d just been tortured by him less than 24 hours ago.

Jesse embraced her brother.  Tina road-raged along the warpath with Randolf riding shotgun in her kickass truck after dropping everything at Mercury Labs and TESS Labs, respectively, to assist in this family crisis.  Captain Singh specifically ordered CCPD not to halt this vehicle.  Eddie and Joe gave it a police escort.

Eo would’ve departed if Harrison hadn’t stopped him by squeezing his hand four times.  Eo was as befuddled by it this time as he was when Solnishko did it.

“Do you know what this gesture means?” Harrison asked.  Eo shook his still covered head, fearing his face would generate flashbacks for Solnishko and Harrison. “It means ‘I love you unconditionally’.  You are not him.  Out of all the things der Mann in Gelb did and didn’t do to Sternchen, he never sang to him.”

“....Please stay,” Solnishko pleaded. “I’ll miss you if you leave.”

“D… do you mind if I grab something first?” Eo gulped, unmasked himself, and dashed into the distance.  He took a vested raccoon out of a Build-a-Bear Workshop box and presented it to Solnishko like paupers present all they have to a god, “This is Professor Hunter Zolomon.  He, um, slept in late and panicked all the way to work only to discover school started the next day, and then he barely survived handing out his syllabus before collapsing from a panic attack.  He was napping in the nurse’s office when the Lightnings came....  Sometimes, raccoons need a little extra help—a lot of extra help occasionally—but that’s okay because their ‘ohana is happy to provide that help.” Eo took a pebble-on-a-keychain out of his pocket and presented it to Solnishko, “This is yours, as well.”

Solnishko tapped some buttons and projected an older #FAR III.  He projected present #FAR III.  Centuries separated them, yet they were otherwise identical.  Future #FAR III rubbed up against Solnishko after sniffing its younger counterpart, then ambled on over to Eo’s side and chirped up at its fellow time-traveler.

“I think it’d rather stay with you,” Solnishko gave future #FAR III back.

Eo accepted it and Jesse showed him how to rename it.  Eo selected the name Edison in honor of his only ancestor who chose a career out of selflessness rather than solely for the pursuit of fortune and glory.

“I did what now???” Eddie’s eyes bulged and his jaw dropped at the news Jesse gave him over the phone.  He was still on the fence about asking Iris to move in with him; children were so far out of the equation, they weren’t even in this branch of mathematics.  He still had self-doubts about his quality as a boyfriend.  Thank god that’s not how time travel worked, because he had no clue how he’d operate as a father.

Caitlin, Charlie, and Cisco were dodging their father in the room the TESS Earth crew entered when they first came to STAR Earth.  The Lightnings’ portal left a scar: a shell of a gate on the wall opposite the entrance.  They used it to house their portal generator now.

Raven floated in.  Drained by sorrow, they barely lifted their heads when Raven asked, “Has anybody seen Axel???”

She’d searched all over STAR Labs.  The turmoil in this entire building gave her and Arella the worst migraine they’d ever experienced.

Earlier, she’d spotted Hartley on the floor in the hallway with his hearing aids removed.  Blood leaked out of his ears.  She teleported him to the medical wing where she and Shawna urged him to put them back in, yet he whispered, “I don’t want to....  This hurts less.”

Mark and Clyde set aside all murder plans for the Rathaway elders to plan Henry’s.  Raven reminded them that ‘ohana meant nobody hurts each other no matter how mad they are, yet Mark retorted, “(Henry hurt our little buddy without being mad at all.)”

“Henry will never be our ‘ohana!!!” Clyde bellowed as she left.

Raven passed the indoor training auditorium: a hodgepodge of crates arranged like buildings, friendly and unfriendly cardboard cutouts, and med kits.  Len and Lisa lurked along the outskirts.  Mick was burning everything in sight, including the med kits! “My baby brother needed over a year to get where he was and those bastards punched ‘im right back to day one!!!”

Len braved the inferno to embrace his husband.  When Mick’s sobs over his shoulder dulled to hiccups and sniffles, Len rubbed Mick’s back, lightly held the back of Mick’s head, and said, “Recovery isn’t linear, Sparky, he’s always had highs and lows; this is just his lowest low since he’s been free.  Revenge won’t help him soar again, you will—you and the rest of our ‘ohana.”

Raven didn’t see Axel in this room either, so she floated on by and continued her journey.  She didn’t even bothering checking the batlab.  Selina, Jason, Beast Boy, and Cyborg’s outrage roared.  Batman was just as furious despite his silence.

Axel wasn’t inside STAR Labs because he was outside running as fast and as far away from the building his five-year-old legs would carry him.  He tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, yet a frisky-haired man caught him before his face hit the pavement.

Axel wriggled the last of his breath out of him.  Axel panted while James asked him, “What are you doing, m’boy?  Your family’s probably lookin’ all over for ya.”

Axel vibrated until he erupted, “I wish Vati never woke up!!!  I hate him!!  You only listened to Lewis so he wouldn’t hurt me; Vati’s hurting Solnishko on nobody’s orders!”

James frowned deeply.  How epically did one have to fail for a hardened criminal to win Father of the Year???  He used the chaos of the particle accelerator explosion to escape prison, yes; but then he discovered his son was being hunted by the government like an animal and booked it to Mrs. Walker’s to guard her and Axel until—pow!—James got roofied.  His best intentions led Lewis right to them.

“....You can’t run out on folks you love, Little Dolphin, unless they’re hurting you, and my guess is someone’s telling your Vati off right now.”

“I’ve known since Mother’s Day; Joe, your parents, and the kids have known since January.  Solnishko’s been free since the day after his eighteenth birthday.”

“....Why did you keep him a secret from me?” damp-eyed Henry removed his hand from under hers. “There’ve never been secrets between us before.”

“I kept it a secret from you to give you a chance to prove him wrong.” Only ninety degrees separated them at the dining room table, yet a wider chasm had never been forged between them until today. “One of the first things he said to me was ‘my parents wouldn’t adopt me anyway’—and he knew who I was.  Have you even squeezed his hand four times???”

Henry slumped against in his round-ribbed chair, “I… I don’t know.”

“The answer is no, you’ve haven’t,” Nora pulled up a video on her phone, “because Harry just sent me this.”

_The video was caught on a camera far up in a corner in Solnishko’s room.  He was lying prone on his bed.  Harrison was reading to him when Solnishko whimpered into his pillow, “Would you keep me if I was a rabbit?”_

_“I would keep you if you were a rabbit or a puppy or a kitten or any other animal you can think of,” Harrison didn’t hesitate to close the book.  He punctuated his statement by squeezing Solnishko’s hand for times, “but I love you best as a human because you can talk to me when you’re upset or happy or feeling nothing at all.”_

_“If a rabbit acted like I did, Doctor Allen would just get rid of me!”_

Oh shit, Henry wasn’t even Vater anymore… if he ever was.

_“No he wouldn’t, Sternchen,” Harrison tried to assure him. “He just became too wrapped up in his work to notice the world, and now that he finally has started noticing it ag—”_

_“HE’S NEVER EVEN SQUEEZED MY HAND FOUR TIMES!!! He only loves me conditionally, and I can’t fulfil his conditions!!  I will NEVER be the son he lost—I’m just his worthless ghost!”_

Henry became paralyzed.  Nora simmered, “Harrison, Harry, Jesse, Eo, Blue, and Tina are doing their best to assure him nothing he could ever do or not do would make him worthless—but he’s not listening to them because he’s too busy listening to you.”

“I never called him worthless!”

“Well, what you didn’t say spoke louder than what you did,” Nora fisted his shirt. “You may have contributed to his DNA, but you are not his father; you haven’t taken care of him at all since he’s been free—Harrison and Harry have!” Henry slammed his eyes shut and blubbered while Nora pointed at the door. “I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now.”

Henry slogged over to Joe’s and sniffled with his forehead against the door.  He caught a glimpse of his parents, brother, and niece on the couch after Wally opened it.  His nephew slammed it in Henry’s face when he realized who was there.  Henry slumped against the door with his forehead on his knees and cried.  He didn’t notice a white-cloaked woman floating in front of him until she greeted him.

“May peace pave your path,” she helped him up. “My name is Arella Roth.  A demon sired my child and stole her from me, yet nobody from our home helped me searched for her because they feared her half-demon heritage destined a future besieged by darkness.  I had no contact with her until a stranger accidentally contacted me.  All I had time to shout was an entreaty to find her before his energy depleted.  He returned the next morning and I saw her for the first time since she was half her current height and she was happy.  At first, I thought it was due to our conversations alone, yet we continued conversing, I learned it was because she’d accomplished a goal our neighbors never allowed her to do on Azarath: befriend others.  On my birthday, she told me about how her companions were as good a family as we are, and later that day, I experienced this family for myself.  Not all of them like each other, yet all of them love each other no matter what parentage or powers they possess or lack,” Arella crafted a portal directly to the portal generator room. “There is a family you should meet as well.”

“Frère!” Caitlin rushed over to her baby brother who was hand in hand with Trickster.  Mist gathered at the twins’ fingers, darkness enveloped Raven’s hands, and Cisco scowled.  Turns out, cracking dimensional barriers had few combat applications—but Trickster didn’t know that! Maybe....

Axel pleaded for a place for his dad, concluding with, “He can’t mess up any worse than Vati did.”

Raven and the siblings looked up at Trickster.  Finally, Cisco asked, “You’re not planning on murdering, maiming, or otherwise harming innocents, are you???”

“Not unless they hurt us first!” Trickster grinned.

Raven remained out of the proceedings while the siblings consulted each other with their eyes.  Finally, Caitlin extended her hand towards the gentleman, “Welcome to our ‘ohana, Uncle James.”

“Aw, shucks,” he kissed her hand before his gaze flitted towards a console. “Ooh! Buttons! Tell me what they do before I blow up our planet!”

“That one queues up TESS Earth,” Cisco pointed to a cylinder labeled “TESS” then to another labeled “Yarn”, “and that one queues up Yarn Earth.”

“Faraday!” Charlie reminded everybody that James was unfortunately still a wanted criminal.  Joe, Eddie, and Singh would be obligated to arrest him no matter how reformed he was.

Axel invented a solution, “Their jury diction ends in this dimmin’ shun.  All he needs to do is live in another one!” Axel faced his father as best he could. “I recommend TESS Earth cuz Yarn Earth already has a you; plus Uncle Bruce would love help with my best friend Flash.  Uncle Randolf helps as much as he can, but he has a whole company of dummies who can’t get anything done without ‘im.  Flash is always running off, and you stopped me from running away, so I’ll put in a good word for you.”

“Time out,” Caitlin paused them all.  Someone needed to be responsible around here, dammit! “One of us has to stay to send Vater to Yarn Earth.”

“I don’t wanna deal with Vater,” Cisco would’ve organized a rock-paper-scissors tournament if Raven hadn’t volunteered to stay behind.  James loved pressing buttons, so he headbutted the button for TESS Earth then waltzed through the humming portal alongside Axel and the others.  It dissipated by the time Arella entered with a tear-stained Henry.  His apologetic heartache muted Raven’s own fury at him as the teen sent him off.

Henry barely took ten steps in TESS Earth before an arrow grazed his shoulder.  A green-hooded, scruffy archer roared, “ **You have failed your ‘ohana!** ”

On owlet on Oliver’s shoulder became ruffled and screeched at the intruder until a blonde lady with a digital rat riding her shoulder flurried in and held Oliver back, “Ollie, you’re not responsible for dealing with him. Walk away.”

“ **I don’t wanna walk away!!  I wanna throttle this SOB’s ass!!!** ”

“Walk away,” Felicity tugged him towards entryway. “Walk away.”

Smoke would’ve billowed out of Oliver if his outrage made him any hotter.  Henry’s head piqued when his counterpart arrived.  Yarn Henry sighed deeply before wreathing an arm over his counterpart’s shoulders, “Walk with me, Henry.”

They ambled through halls haunted by yarn to reach the counterpart of the break room Henry ate in earlier that day.  There were few photos and no drawings adorning the walls.  There was no table large enough to feed an army… just a couch, a coffee table, and a plasma screen.  Yarn Henry directed Henry to sit down before seating himself.

“It feels empty to you, doesn’t it?” Henry nodded, so Yarn Henry continued. “It feels empty to you because my wife is dead, and we never adopted any children.  I don’t have any nieces or nephews or siblings because Joe and I aren’t adopted either.  Our Mark doesn’t even have a Clyde anymore.  We have a Len and a Lisa and a Mick—and I love them like family—but at the end of the day, they are thieves.  On your Earth, they are the heroes we all know they can be because if they went to jail, Solnishko once worried that his captor would try to take him back during their absence.  Now they’re heroes because chasing criminals who outmatch CCPD is more important than chasing an adrenaline high on a heist.” Yarn Henry patted Henry’s shoulder when the latter grew more despondent than ever. “You’re not the only Henry Allen who makes mistakes.  I stuck around for a day after I became free before leaving for,” Yarn Henry shook up some jazz hands, “National Nature Channel Park because I didn’t know where my place in the world was anymore until I finally realized it was at home with my family: all one of him.”

“....Solnishko already has two fathers who care about him,” Henry sniffled, feeling superfluous. “What does he need me for???”

“He doesn’t need you; he wants you!” Yarn Henry shook his head slowly and chuckled. “My presence in Barry’s life baffled him because he thought I was just like you—that my job was my world.  It’s not, and it’s not yours either, is it?  You only delved so deeply into it because you couldn’t heal the empty chair at your table like you could heal your patients at Central Medical.” Henry closed his eyes, sniffled, and jerkily nodded.  Yarn Henry embraced him when Henry’s sobs quietly resumed.  They weren’t loud enough to disrupt a conversation, so Yarn Henry wrapped it up, “We didn’t become doctors by being insensitive idiots; we became doctors with perseverance, compassion, and wisdom.  Those are what you need to heal your relationship with Solnishko.”

Yarn Henry walked Henry back to the portal generator room.  Henry saluted Yarn Henry, who sent him home with a nod and a smile.

Henry took a calming breath.  Raven quirked her eyebrows warily when Arella offered to teleport him to Solnishko’s house.  Henry held his breath as he rang the doorbell.  Jesse confiscated Harry and Randolf’s When All Hell Breaks Loose Weaponry before anyone fired them.  Jesse then fidgeted her leg, Harry folded his arms, Randolf cracked his knuckles, and Tina scowled hostility at him.  Harrison came within an inch of breaking his arm rests while him directing to Solnishko’s room.

Eo and Solnishko were playing with the Plush Menagerie while Edison, #FAR III, and Miss Kitka curled up together and napped.  Pixels dissolved the raccoons back into their devices and Eo locked Miss Kitka in Jesse’s room when it became clear the beasts were out for blood.  Eo handed Henry a change of clothes.  Henry came back when he’d changed.

Henry sat criss-cross applesauce on the carpet.  He picked up a hamster who was toting a med kit and wearing a stethoscope and a physician’s coat.  Solnishko introduced him soullessly, “That’s Doctor Garrick....  He hates playing with #FAR Junior because #FAR Junior’s too weird to love.”

“....Doctor Garrick, listen up,” Henry stared the plushie down, “If I were you, I’d tell #FAR Junior he’s not weird at all; he’s special.  We’re doctors, and doctors detest illness in all its forms, especially cancer.  #FAR Junior may not have physical cancer, yet what he has resembles it.  Cancer has no cure and may go into remission and never haunt him again, or he may battle flare ups for the rest of his life.  That is what we fear: feeling useless.  But there is something you can do for him; you can squeeze his paw four times and mean it.”

Henry reached out to Solnishko, who tentatively accepted his hand.  Henry squeezed Solnishko’s hand four times first.  Solnishko gulped up at him in disbelief and distrust, yet he squeezed Henry’s hand four times as well.

_Future_

Henry checked over Clyde after a harrowing clash against Dr. Light.  Henry, Mark, and Yarn Mark awaited Clyde to regain consciousness.  Sitting up tortured him, “What the fuck happened???”

“(You died,)” Mark signed with a straight face, “(but we curious aliens reanimated you to study how idiocy correlates with lifespan.  We look like your loved ones because our true forms would shock you, but they’ve all been dead for centuries.)”

“....Which one of you aliens is gonna feed me???”

“That’s your response!?” Yarn Mark Gibbs-slapped him. “Not ‘oh no! Everybody’s dead’, or ‘that’s bullshit’, it’s ‘make me a sammich, dammit’!?!”

Henry chuckled as he handed Clyde a bag lunch from Clarissa.  Clyde uncovered humus, seafood salad, cheddar cheese, and potato bread soggy with hot sauce. “My favorite!” he exclaimed as he gleefully munched his food.  Both Marks groaned.

“Marks, strap him down if he tries to leave; I’m off the clock,” Henry changed into his costume and tossing his scrubs and coat into the laundry room at super speed. “I love you; see ya tomorrow!”

“Bye, Uncle Henry!” said Clyde while Mark signed.

Yarn Mark waved as Henry left, “Later, STAR Doc.”

Axel scrambled towards the portal generator room with Tricky while Cisco, Caitlin, and Charlie carted Vibe forth.  Cisco explained as Henry shuffled next to him to help them, “Uncle Randolf and Uncle Bruce are gonna be here lickity-split, but I’m linking up our Vibe with their Vibe so Uncle James can watch without CCPD arresting him.”

“Oliver and Felicity are bringing Yarn’s Vibe so the Mardons can watch without leaving the medical wing,” Caitlin added.

“We were just gonna hook up a TV and a camera, but their Vibe’s been on the fritz lately,” Charlie huffed, “so Hermano and Yarn Cisco are gonna beat it into submission and use today as a calibration test.”

“Kissing’s gross,” Axel’s tongue lazily sprawled, “so I’m gonna hang out with Flash instead!”

“Have fun, Little Dolphin—and good luck with Vibe,” Henry kissed Axel’s forehead, which Axel teasingly wiped off. “Nope, too late, it’s stuck there!”

The siblings scampered off through a portal Raven crafted when she and Arella encountered them.  Mick punch-tapped Henry as they passed, “You, Joe, Bruce, and Yarn Henry still on for fishin’ Sunday?”

“Always—unless a meta gets uppity!”

“They better not,” Mick grunted. “Nobody in their right mind interrupts our fishin’ ‘cept Mark and Clyde.”

“To be fair, those two don’t have right minds to begin with,” Len nipped his husband’s ear.

“Get a room already, god!” Lisa and Yarn Lisa gagged.  They loved quality romances as much as the next person, yet no sane person wants a play-by-play of their sibling or sibling-lookalike’s sex life.

“STAR Labs has no less than a dozen empty rooms for you to play in; there’s no excuse for you to be playing in the hall where people are walking,” Henry reminded the men with a smile.

Len and Mick’s gazes darkened towards each other.  Len smirked, “We’ve got an hour, Sparky, and there’s an empty room right over there.” The Lisas fled as Mick hauled Len into said room over his shoulders.  Henry and the Lisas were long gone by then, yet they still heard a door crash closed.

Henry and Yarn Henry entrusted each other for a once-over more than mirrors.  Nora looked no less gorgeous in yellow and walked arm-in-arm with both of them.  Barry, Yarn Mick, and Yarn Len emerged from their own shenanigans in an empty room and joined them outside.

Hartley and Yarn Hartley hacked the footage live onto every screen inside all three versions of Rathaway Industries.  Catering was a joint effort by Saints & Sinners and Penguin's penguins.  It was _Star Blazers_ -themed because that’s how Singh and Rob met: at a convention dressed as Alex Wildstar.  Their cake was _Yamato_ -shaped.  Martin was dressed as Captain Avatar.  Solnishko was the Best Man and dressed as Stephen Sandor while the rest of the groomsmen—Hartley, Eddie, Harry, Ronnie, and Harrison—were dressed as Mark Venture.  Iris bullied her way into Maid of Honor despite the glaringly obvious fact that no ladies existed in this couple’s relationship.  Rob and Singh okayed it anyway cuz when Iris West wanted something, she got it.  She was dressed as Queen Starsha while the bridesmaids—STAR Lisa, Tina, Selina, Starfire, and Jesse—were dressed as Sasha.  Oliver’s owlet was the ringbearer, and Felicity’s rat was the flower girl.  CCPD came dressed as Desslock, including Yarn Singh and Yarn Rob.  All of the other guests were dressed as Derek Wildstar or Nova Forrester except Batman, who wore his Kevlar and cowl plus a Captain Avatar cap atop it.  Miss Kitka finished kneading his thighs and settled by the time the ceremony began.

It was the dorkiest wedding in the history of weddings, yet Singh and Rob said “I do” anyway, so Martin smiled upon both of them, “Without further ado, you may now kiss the groom!”

Yarn Rob whistled, “Damn! STAR us can kiss!”

Rob unlatched from Singh to warn them, “This is my captain.  There are many others like him, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!!!”

Groomzilla startled everybody.  Rob and Singh resumed snogging.  Yarn Singh gulped and patted Yarn Rob’s knee, “Bae, don’t take this the wrong way, but this version of you is terrifying.”

“I totally, 100% completely understand, David,” Yarn Rob leaned into Yarn Singh for protection.

Rob didn’t toss a bouquet, he tossed a Robbie.  Yellow Lightning helped Iris cheat to catch it and pickpocket her ring out of Eddie’s pocket.  Joe glared at Eddie, who just stood there half idiotically, half deer-in-headlights.

“You’re slowing down in your old age, Grandpa!” Eo cupped his mouth to call out, cuing snickers.

Joe walked Iris down the aisle, then poked Eddie’s chest, “Hurry up and get hitched, Puppy Dog, I want grandpuppies, dammit!”

“We already live together,” Iris reasoned while Rob and Singh departed for an empty room. “And you’ve been procrastinating to propose for ages, so I arranged everything cuz I’m a genius.”

Linda kept the camera rolling as they recited their vows.  Iris tackled Eddie’s lips before Martin said “now kiss the”.

Robbie landed in Jason’s lap this time.  He vanished after throwing down a smoke bomb, yet Starfire gave chase.  Bruce chuckled at their antics.  Robbie appeared in Cyborg’s lap.  Beast Boy transformed into a beagle to give him puppy dog eyes.  Cyborg intended to give Robbie to him until Miss Kitka stole her.  Beast Boy yipped his ire as he pursued her.  Dancing, socialization, and consumption began.  Solnishko stood on the outskirts of the chaotic organization.  Henry approached him, “Wanna duck out, Sternchen?”

“Ja bitte, Vater,” Solnishko shivered.  Henry wreathed an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to TESS Earth where they played Plush Menagerie with James, Axel, and Flash.

Axel pulled a hamster plushie out of his pocket.  He’d intended to give it to Henry earlier, but he forgot, “Sorry, Vati.”

Henry told Axel not to worry about it as he accepted his hamster, deserving it at last.  A husk of garnet electricity appeared before them in Stately Wayne Manor’s living room, “ **You uphold your vow now, Henry.  Would you like me back?** ”

Henry looked up at it for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head, “No thank you, Red.  I may not be as good at wielding it as Nora, but my superpower is unconditional love.”

“Ja you are, Vater,” Solnishko leaned close to hug him.

Red paused his departure when Flash clamped around its calf, “Ich will dich!”

James exploded into laughter as he pulled Flash into his lap.  Flash’s wriggling amounted to the doggie paddle.  James look straight at him, “It’s hard enough keeping up with you at normal speed, never mind super speed.”

“C’mon, Dad,” Axel rolled onto his back like a puppy and pleaded, “It’s not fair that I have powers and Flash has nothing.”

“Life isn’t fair, Little Dolphin,” James would’ve ruffled his son’s hair if Flash hadn’t resorted to biting in an attempt to free himself.

“ **If he wanders too far out of sight, I have experience controlling errant speedsters.** ”

“....I believe this falls under Bruce’s authority,” Axel and Flash groaned at James’ verdict, “so we will wait and see what he says.”

“ **I’ll take my leave then,** ” Red said before looking down on the auburn-haired boy. “ **I’ll become your Valjean if you’re ever in trouble—and rest assured, I shall return to you once you can rationally decide if you wish to become a speedster—but please don’t go running into trouble in the meantime.** ”

The End!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking time to read this, folks :3 Enjoy what you do here and everywhere :) See ya!


	2. Commentary

Welcome to the finale of STAR Blazers.  It has been a crazy, convoluted, and chaotic journey, yet I’m glad I went on it because it taught me why I write.  Last semester, my creative writing teacher asked everybody why we wrote, and I put down a stupid answer because I didn’t really take any time to think about it.  I’d either just finished up JYWM or was in the middle of writing BaBW at the time, and I continued writing STAR Blazers without a care in the world.

That damn question kept nagging at me, though.

So I finally gave myself time to think about it, and I came up with this.

I write because I care.  Some of these folks started out in bad place while some were alright, yet I’d envisioned a better place for all of them, and I didn’t wanna stop writing until I’d gathered them all into it.

If you’ve read chapter one, that must mean you care about them too, which means I’ve done my job right.

 

_CCPD helplessly watched Blitz thunder up the tallest building in Central. Linda Park of CCPN barely contained her tears through this broadcast. Rob burst through the station and clutched his fiancé, “David! Why’s our best man on a skyscraper!?”_

_All officers felt like turning away or blinking would seal Blitz’s fate, hence why David couldn’t pull his eyes away from the screen, “....He’s going to commit suicide.”_

Past & Present take place in March.  Singh & Rob have an outdoor wedding, which (to me) means Future takes place at least a couple months after this, May at the earliest.  Also, this is the fourth(?) installment of STAR Blazers, and Linda STILL hasn’t spoken a line of dialog. Ugh!  I fail Linda Park forever!

 

_Henry spoke as eloquently as ever, “???”_

Hahahaha

 

_A voice from within greeted him sternly, “ **Good afternoon, Doctor Allen.  I’m Red Lightning.  You were not my first, second, or third choice for a new host, but I suppose you’ll do since you’ve sworn to do no harm.** ”_

_“....Who were your first choices?” Henry asked for lack of anything else to say._

_“ **Everyone except you,** ” Red wasted no pleasantries._

Poor Henry: waking up to weirdness and rudeness

 

_Red would’ve rolled its eyes if it had any, “ **You have a hyperactive heartbeat and run a temperature of 100 degrees Fahrenheit.  Your colleagues will spot both as soon as you clock in.** ”_

Oh, and now he’s lost his job/coping mechanism for Barry’s abduction too. Wonderful!

 

_Len wrinkled his nose with disdain when he entered the scene, “Who’s been playing Stankball in the hall?”_

_“BB, Cy, and your sons,” Nora saw no point in harboring fugitives._

_Len cooled the hallway with his irritation and pinched the bridge of his nose, “FIRESTORM, get a move on, I have three minutes and twenty-nine seconds to lecture our court jesters before lunch.”_

Hahahaha

 

Ronnie stretched out like a duck until Eddie wreathed an arm over _his shoulder, “What’s next on your list, bro?”_

_Ronnie consulted his notebook and exclaimed, “{Leeches!}”_

_“We’ll start right away after lunch,” Eddie grinned.  He loved how giddy Ronnie became whenever he proved himself right, so Eddie refrained from outright telling him TESS Earth conspiracy theories were common knowledge on STAR Earth unless Ronnie specifically interrogated Eddie. “Joe might actually let me sit next to Iris today—without glaring at me this time!”_

LEECHES!!! :D

Also, Eddie’s last line.

 

_“Aren’t your parents worried about you at all???” Henry asked Charlie and Wally._

_“My parents and sister are dead,” Wally grinned bluntly, “so I found new ones!”_

_Charlie added equally bluntly, “I might as well have lived alone after my father died.”_

Henry’s saying the right thing if they were normal folks, but the world is no longer normal, so the right things to say have become the wrong things to say.

 

_The group stepped through a lightless disc after Henry got over his nerves, “Superpowers, doppelgängers, magic—what’s next—aliens!?”_

_“Glorious!” Starfire flitted into a hug—more accurately, a squeeze, “You have awakened at last!  I regret that I have run out of ingredients for[stewed Grudthmec](http://www.geocities.ws/phoenixflamz0787/starvocab/index.html), yet when I next shop for the groceries, I shall rustle the grubs for you and your family at once!”_

Ha!

Also, Henry REALLY hasn’t been attention AT ALL to the world around him if he thinks the Teen Titans are new.  They’ve been around for at least a year prior to WLYSS.

 

Everyone groaned at Henry’s faux pas, “It was nice to meet you, Miss Martian.”

“That is the racist!!!” Starfire’s eyes glowed nuclear green as she fisted her hands beside her.  Her glow dissipated when she giggled, “It appears it is as difficult for you to spot the jokes as it is for Solnishko.  Enjoy your afternoon, friends!”

Aaaaaand Henry did not pay attention to Starfire’s info about Solnishko.

*bangs head on desk*

This finale physically pained me to write because it featured a character acting stupid over a long period of time.  When the Mardons act stupid, it’s usually for a couple paragraphs at most, and then they’re off to their next activity.  Henry’s stupidity is prolonged.

 

_“These are adorable!” Clarissa cooed. “Thank you, Sternchen, and tell Jesse ‘thank you’ for us.”_

_“I will!” Solnishko promised as he buttered his roll. “Schwesterchen can’t be here because she’s Vati’s backup for the press conference—Dad’s supposed to be his backup, but we just checked the livestream, and he’s been daydreaming this entire time.”_

_The group—minus Henry—chuckled.  Harry clocked out as soon as boredom struck.  Mick wrapped his left hand around Len’s waist as Hartley clasped Solnishko’s free hand and tackled Henry’s befuddlement head-on, “You are aware of the fact that just because you and Mrs. Allen are a heterosexual couple doesn’t mean all couples are?”_

_“I am!” Henry didn’t care whom his patients loved as long as they recovered.  He was just a little weirded out by Solnishko’s vaguely familiar nickname._

Oh my god, he doesn’t even recognize his second-youngest son’s nickname; what the hell!?

 

_“....My SAT scores came in yesterday!” Solnishko eventually cheered while Miss Kitka stole a strip of turkey off his plate as her therapy fee. “I got a 700 in math and reading, but I only got a 500 in writing.”_

Ha! Miss Kitka, you scamp.

Okay, so apparently, the SATs have a new grading system now, but according to the old one, a 700 was 100 points off from a perfect score in a category, and the minimum score was a 200.  I figured with no less than Martin, Shawna, Hartley, and Batman helping him, Solnishko would rock this test.

 

_Hartley’s green gaze needled Henry’s dumbass brown eyes, “Do you have any idea who I am???”_

_Mortification dawned on him at last, “You’re Doctor Hartley Rathaway.”_

He barely recognizes Hartley Rathaway: aka the biggest news prior to the particle accelerator exploding!?  Are you kidding me!?!

Must I to clarify my pain any further???

 

_All jaws clicked shut when Henry epically failed to recover, “I just don’t understand why he took it so personally; it’s not like I’m his father.”_

*bangs head on desk*

 

_Nora frowned tightly at him, “....He took it personally because one of his fathers took the SATs three times and the highest he scored in any one category was 350.”_

_“How does that even happen!?!”_

_“That’s what Tess said! Mostly because she helped me study, and she taught me better than that,”_

Lol

Poor high school-aged Harrison. Epic fail.

 

_“I don’t know what it is about writing information down on a piece of paper that makes my brain fly out the window, but nobody in this room would argue that I’m stupid; and if they knew anything about you, they wouldn’t argue you’re stupid either.  There is absolutely no reason for you to retake the SATs, but if that’s want you to do, I’ll help you study—for all the good you think it’ll do.”_

_“We don’t even have SATs on TESS Earth,” Jesse informed her frantic-eyed brother. “There are more kinds of intelligence than there are colors in a rainbow, and no exam can measure them all.”_

Awwww go Harrison and Jesse!

 

_“You know I suffer from I Don’t Give a Damn Syndrome!”_

_“Which is why you’ll walk out at exactly 1:30—midsentence if you must—no matter what I say because you’ll ‘forget’ what I said and do so anyway, so we might as well pretend it’s part of the plan.”_

_Jesse facepalmed at her fathers’ negotiations. “May I answer sarcastically?”_

_“Once per ten questions.”_

_“Three!”_

_“Five.”_

_“Deal!” Harry scampered up to the mic and smiled at blinking cameras, “Good afternoon all you lovely losers!  Harrison’s ditching you because all of you combined and multiplied by infinity aren’t a fraction as important as our ‘ohana is—but no worries, I am amazingly awesome at assuaging stupidity AND I survived no less than seven interrogations back in the War of the Americas, so ask away!”_

Lol

 

_Harry exploded at Henry’s antics, “I want to punch him!”_

_“Not before I do, you won’t,” Harrison huffed at him._

_“Don’t let the wheelchair stop you.  Being down there makes it easier for you to hit ‘im where it really hurts!”_

*snickers*

 

“Give him some grace,” Harrison advised him. “Think about it from his perspective.  Doctor Allen has awoken to a new daughter, son, and nephew—technically three since he hasn’t met the Mardon brothers, and you know how rambunctious they are—superhuman abilities, multiple universes—”

“That’s no excuse to treat our precious babies like crap!” Harry hissed.  He already despised TESS Earth’s version of Henry.  He was bursting at the seams to hate another one.

“Dad, it’s fine; I just overreacted like usu—”

“No it isn’t and no you didn’t!” Harry locked gazes and cupped Solnishko’s face.  Maybe he was seeing him as the feisty four-year-old TESS Earth’s Henry abandoned instead of Solnishko—he didn’t care. “I have the worst case of ADD imaginable; I only see four stars in the vast night sky, and one of them has died.  Your light has spent too long dim already!  Nobody has any right to douse your light or anybody else’s light.”

“....Technically, my name means ‘sunshine’.”

Harry scoffed before he released him, “The sun’s just the star closest to us.  I don’t want you setting ever—especially not because Doc Asshole has worse bedside manner than the Doctor.”

“ _Voyager_ or _Doctor Who_?” Solnishko snickered.

“Yes.”

Awwwwww go Harry!

Also, Harrison is easily the most patient person in this entire series.  You’re finally free after 14 years of captivity & Solnishko wants to move in with you. Sure!  A complete stranger from another Earth wants to spend Father’s Day with you. Comfort her cuz her father’s not being a father right now!  Her father finally deigns to appear. Lay down the law and then comfort him cuz holy crap he’s you!  Your wife has a brother who hates your counterpart. Wheel on over and hope he doesn’t shoot you!  Your son’s father fails continuously over the course of 24 hours, brings up all of your son’s insecurities, and drives your son to suicide. Give him a chance to apologize and fix his mistakes instead of punching him like you’d be 100% justified in doing!

....Wow

 

_There was a top hat floating around STAR Labs taking suggestions for names._

_Raven enchanted it herself._

Lol

 

_Batman’s jubilee at his batshark repellent coming in handy like he always knew it would_

I’ve been mentioning batshark repellent pretty much every time Batman’s come up AND NOW I FINALLY GET TO USE IT HA!

 

_“ **Der Mann in Gelb won’t ever exist in this timeline because our ‘ohana will tear him apart if he does.** ”_

Red just got dangerous!

 

“And for the finale: imported from the future, a royal dynamo with a PhD in pain: Der! Mann! In! Lilaaaaaaaa!!!” James smirked when a man in muted violet Nextel arrived.  His eyes glowed like rainbow marbles.  Purple Lightning trailed even his slowest movements.

“Lila” is German for “purple”, and if you know anything about the color wheel, yellow and purple are compliments: opposites—reverses if you will :)

 

_“My name’s not Barry; my name’s Solnishko.”_

_“....What are you talking about? Of course it is,” Henry bit his lip. “It’s the name I gave you.”_

Shoot me now!

 

**_Fighting crime doesn’t make you a hero, helping people does.  You’re a hero—my hero!—because you unite innumerable souls and accept every last one of them unconditionally_ **

**Eo feels :(**

**_My name is Eobard Thawne, but I’d prefer if my friends called me Eo… if I had any friends.  When I was a child, my mother called me overemotional.  My father called me ingenuous.  So I became a professor to encourage my students the way I never was by my family.  Then one day, all five Lightnings struck me so I could save you.  I pray I am as far removed from my counterpart as possible, because he gave in to what his family told him and wasted his gift hurting you.  I would be honored to be allowed into your ‘ohana, but I’ll understand if his sins are too grievous to forgive_ **

**More Eo feels!**

_To recap, not only had they been relying on a near-stranger—who in related news was from a timeline where Solnishko DIED and was Solnishko and Harrison and Selina’s captor’s and STAR Tess’s murderer’s counterpart—to rescue Solnishko TWICE, Solnishko hadn’t even the wherewithal to deactivate his comms.  His entire ‘ohana heard everything._

Everyone feels!!!

 

_This is Professor Hunter Zolomon.  He, um, slept in late and panicked all the way to work only to discover school started the next day, and then he barely survived handing out his syllabus before collapsing from a panic attack.  He was napping in the nurse’s office when the Lightnings came...._

Even more Eo feels!

Why did I write this fic???

 

Eo took a pebble-on-a-keychain out of his pocket and presented it to Solnishko, “This is yours, as well.”

_Solnishko tapped some buttons and projected an older #FAR III.  He projected present #FAR III.  Centuries separated them, yet they were otherwise identical.  Future #FAR III rubbed up against Solnishko after sniffing its younger counterpart, then ambled on over to Eo’s side and chirped up at its fellow time-traveler._

_“I think it’d rather stay with you,” Solnishko gave future #FAR III back._

Awwww, Edison

 

_Axel wriggled the last of his breath out of him.  Axel panted while James asked him, “What are you doing, m’boy?  Your family’s probably lookin’ all over for ya.”_

_Axel vibrated until he erupted, “I wish Vati never woke up!!!  I hate him!!  You only listened to Lewis so he wouldn’t hurt me; Vati’s hurting Solnishko on nobody’s orders!”_

_James frowned deeply.  How epically did one have to fail for a hardened criminal to win Father of the Year???  He used the chaos of the particle accelerator explosion to escape prison, yes; but then he discovered his son was being hunted by the government like an animal and booked it to Mrs. Walker’s to guard her and Axel until—pow!—James got roofied.  His best intentions led Lewis right to them._

_“....You can’t run out on folks you love, Little Dolphin, unless they’re hurting you, and my guess is someone’s telling your Vati off right now.”_

James feels!

Go, James!

 

_“HE’S NEVER EVEN SQUEEZED MY HAND FOUR TIMES!!! He only loves me conditionally, and I can’t fulfil his conditions!!  I will NEVER be the son he lost—I’m just his worthless ghost!”_

_Solnishko feels!_

_:( :( :( :( :(_

_Seriously, why did I write this fic???_

_Nora fisted his shirt. “You may have contributed to his DNA, but you are not his father; you haven’t taken care of him at all since he’s been free—Harrison and Harry have!” Henry slammed his eyes shut and blubbered while Nora pointed at the door. “I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now.”_

Holy crap, NORA just got dangerous!

Do not mess with Nora’s babies. Ever.  Even if said babies aren’t strictly speaking Nora’s babies—if they’re nobody else’s babies, they’re Nora’s babies.

 

_“May peace pave your path,” she helped him up. “My name is Arella Roth.  A demon sired my child and stole her from me, yet nobody from our home helped me searched for her because they feared her half-demon heritage destined a future besieged by darkness.  I had no contact with her until a stranger accidentally contacted me.  All I had time to shout was an entreaty to find her before his energy depleted.  He returned the next morning and I saw her for the first time since she was half her current height and she was happy.  At first, I thought it was due to our conversations alone, yet we continued conversing, I learned it was because she’d accomplished a goal our neighbors never allowed her to do on Azarath: befriend others.  On my birthday, she told me about how her companions were as good a family as we are, and later that day, I experienced this family for myself.  Not all of them like each other, yet all of them love each other no matter what parentage or powers they possess or lack,” Arella crafted a portal directly to the portal generator room. “There is a family you should meet as well.”_

Arella & Raven feels!  This adds angst to 3+1, doesn’t it?

 

_Raven and the siblings looked up at Trickster.  Finally, Cisco asked, “You’re not planning on murdering, maiming, or otherwise harming innocents, are you???”_

_“Not unless they hurt us first!”_

Lol

 

_“Aw, shucks,” he kissed her hand before his gaze flitted towards a console. “Ooh! Buttons! Tell me what they do before I blow up our planet!”_

Lol

 

_Henry barely took ten steps in TESS Earth before an arrow grazed his shoulder.  A green-hooded, scruffy archer roared, “ **You have failed your ‘ohana!** ”_

Hahaha

Also, the image of Oliver with an owlet on his shoulders....

*snickers*

Oliver just got dangerous.

 

“It feels empty to you, doesn’t it?”

I like how Yarn Henry says “it feels empty to you” instead of just “it feels empty”.  The point of this little speech is not to bash Knitwit.  The point is to remind STAR Henry how great his family is, and he needs to participate in it.  I chose Yarn Henry to give this speech because 1) it’ll remind folks of Harrison’s speech to Harry in AHS, and Harry turned out great, Henry just needs a chance to learn from his mistakes and 2) Knitwit is basically the closest fic I’ve got to canon.  Knitwit, canon, and STAR Blazers are all equally valid; and they all have their strengths and weaknesses.  Some prefer one, two, or the other; some like all three, and that’s fine.  They all don’t appeal to exactly the same people.  We can all like different things, and all of our likes and dislikes and opinions are valid.  That’s why I love comments: I like hearing others’ opinions.

 

_We didn’t become doctors by being insensitive idiots; we became doctors with perseverance, compassion, and wisdom.  Those are what you need to heal your relationship with Solnishko.”_

Awwww

This closer reminds me of Joe’s “you need a heart, not a scorecard” speech to Eddie in JWYM and Clarissa & Martin’s “your equipment & authority don’t make you a cop, your heart does” speech to Joe in 3+1

 

_Yarn Henry walked Henry back to the portal generator room.  Henry saluted Yarn Henry, who sent him home with a nod and a smile._

_Henry took a calming breath.  Raven quirked her eyebrows warily when Arella offered to teleport him to Solnishko’s house.  Henry held his breath as he rang the doorbell.  Jesse confiscated Harry and Randolf’s When All Hell Breaks Loose Weaponry before anyone fired them.  Jesse then fidgeted her leg, Harry folded his arms, Randolf cracked his knuckles, and Tina scowled hostility at him.  Harrison came within an inch of breaking his arm rests while him directing to Solnishko’s room._

Originally, Henry was gonna come back, walk through STAR Labs to apologize to everyone and get beat up x10 for it, then he was gonna go to safehouse #4 and get beat up by the Wells-McGee-Morgan clan.  But I realized that went against the spirit of ‘ohana, so I just depict everyone furious at him instead.

 

_He hates playing with #FAR Junior because #FAR Junior’s too weird to love._

Solnishko feels!

 

_“....Doctor Garrick, listen up,” Henry stared the plushie down, “If I were you, I’d tell #FAR Junior he’s not weird at all; he’s special.  We’re doctors, and doctors detest illness in all its forms, especially cancer.  #FAR Junior may not have physical cancer, yet what he has resembles it.  Cancer has no cure and may go into remission and never haunt him again, or he may battle flare ups for the rest of his life.  That is what we fear: feeling useless.  But there is something you can do for him; you can squeeze his paw four times and mean it.”_

_Henry reached out to Solnishko, who tentatively accepted his hand.  Henry squeezed Solnishko’s hand four times first._

Go, Henry!!!

He converts to the Light Side at last!

 

_“....Which one of you aliens is gonna feed me???”_

_“That’s your response!?” Yarn Mark Gibbs-slapped him. “Not ‘oh no! Everybody’s dead’, or ‘that’s bullshit’, it’s ‘make me a sammich, dammit’!?!”_

This is loosely inspired by something I said in class.  We were talking about how the world would work if we just let sick people die, and my mom’s diabetic, so she’d be dead.  I was all like “aw, but if Mom dies, who’s going to feed me???” and one of my classmates was like “I love how your response isn’t “Oh no, my mom’s dead; it’s ‘I’m hungry’.”

My ability to be philosophical decreases exponentially when my stomach is endangered.

 

_humus, seafood salad, cheddar cheese, and potato bread soggy with hot sauce. “My favorite!”_

I guarantee this tastes disgusting.  Maybe normal taste buds can tolerate it for the first two bites, but not for the whole sandwich.

 

_I’m linking up our Vibe with their Vibe so Uncle James can watch without CCPD arresting him.”_

Aw

 

_“They better not,” Mick grunted. “Nobody in their right mind interrupts our fishin’ ‘cept Mark and Clyde.”_

_“To be fair, those two don’t have right minds to begin with,” Len nipped his husband’s ear._

To clarify, “those two” mean STAR Mark & Clyde.  Yarn Mark has the most sense out of the trio… which is either a normal person’s amount of sense or slightly above or below average.

 

_“Get a room already, god!” Lisa and Yarn Lisa gagged.  They loved quality romances as much as the next person, yet no sane person wants a play-by-play of their sibling or sibling-lookalike’s sex life._

I stole this from YET ANOTHER draft of JWYM

 

_“STAR Labs has no less than a dozen empty rooms for you to play in; there’s no excuse for you to be playing in the hall where people are walking,” Henry reminded the men with a smile._

Hahahaha

Echoing lines is another tool of the eco-friendly author’s toolbox: reduce, reuse, recycle.

 

_Hartley and Yarn Hartley hacked the footage live onto every screen inside all three versions of Rathaway Industries._

Wow!!! Never mind the rest of the stuff happening at this affair, this is amazing!

 

_Yarn Rob whistled, “Damn! STAR us can kiss!”_

_Rob unlatched from Singh to warn them, “This is my captain.  There are many others like him, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!!!”_

_Groomzilla startled everybody_

Calm down, STAR Rob.  I think it’s sweet that Yarn Singh & Yarn Rob came to the wedding and that STAR Singh & STAR Rob invited them.

 

_“You’re slowing down in your old age, Grandpa!” Eo cupped his mouth to call_

Ha!

 

_Henry looked up at it for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head, “No thank you, Red.  I may not be as good at wielding it as Nora, but my superpower is unconditional love.”_

_“Ja you are, Vater,” Solnishko leaned close to hug him._

Awwwww

 

_Red paused his departure when Flash clamped around its calf, “Ich will dich!”_

_James exploded into laughter as he pulled Flash into his lap.  Flash’s wriggling amounted to the doggie paddle.  James look straight at him, “It’s hard enough keeping up with you at normal speed, never mind super speed.”_

Hahaha

Also, good job, James, for being “the fun parent” while still being responsible.

 

“ **I’ll take my leave then,** ” Red said before looking down on the auburn-haired boy. “ **I’ll become your Valjean if you’re ever in trouble—and rest assured, I shall return to you once you can rationally decide if you wish to become a speedster—but please don’t go running into trouble in the meantime.** ”

Lol & awwww

 

STAR Blazers has been exhausting, emotional, exemplary, an eyeful, an eyesore, and exciting.  I hope y’all will tune in to my other stories, but I won’t mind if you don’t as long as you enjoyed this one.  This is HFE signing off! ;)


End file.
